Crew

   I don't know what i was thinking when i decided to join crew. It was a rash decision made after weeks of convincing myself that it would not be worth my time. The fact that i couldn't even control myself should of been a warning in its self along with my soon to be coach's introduction"Hi, I'm ******, usually I'm known as a hard-a**". It was a decision akin to turning or veering off a carefully marked trail, only to find something unexpected, wonderful but daunting.

    In the beginning of the fall, I, deciding that strenuous painful workouts everyday did not sound like fun, decided to become a coxswain. As a coxswain i was to "motivate" the rowers by yelling at them and steering the straightest, shortest course possible. We moved awkwardly the rowers, trying to get a grip on technique as the boat wobbled from side to side and me, trying not to maneuver the shell in pirouettes.I really didn't and still don't yell as much as i should of during practice (i was awarded sulent but deadly at our awards) but back then I felt pretty good, it seemed as if i was doing well as a coxswain, but sometimes i would wonder why i was doing this, it seemed so weird and pointless and i loved it. Often, i would find myself distracted, staring at the surrounding scenery, the occasional dead creature floating by, the murky green-brown water, the inexplicable bubbles and the array of objects coursing through the water where they had been carelessly tossed.
         When the time came for our first row as novice rowers, The Head of the Occuquan (probably misspelled), everyone was nervous and excited. It was then that i realized how motivated the rowers were. They may not have believed that we would win, but they were going to work to walk through at least one boat. It seemed to me they were motivated to win than i was.
     We were 5 minutes late to the starting line, failed to walk through any boats, and were walked on by several boats. At the time i hadn't figure to how to use my cox box so i made up stroke ratings and had them "adjust" to new ones. I didn't speak much except when we almost crashed a couple times. The river was beautiful (and distracting to my ADHD prone brain), stone cliffs towered around us flanked by balding trees. It was the first of many times that i would realize that all the rivers i raced on were better than the ones i practiced on. In the end, we got second to last, but it still seemed to be an accomplishment (especially when we were told it wasn't a novice race, something we had realized when we saw the young and old men in the boats). We resigned ourselves to this small victory and packed up the boats for the winter.

    The winter was the time where rowers honed their skills, gained strength and endurance, worked on technique and most notably, faced a new form of surprisingly legal torture, the erg (a machine for rowing on land). While the rowers where on the erg my job was to find ways to motivate them by yelling at them, something i honestly failed at. Yelling at people twice as large and strong as i was seemed like a horrible idea, plus what do you say, row harder you're almost done? My first and second coach left us during the winter, both stolen by the government. Then we were given Coach Sara who had coached the novice girls the year before and had been a coxswain in college. The workouts grew harder, but that was okay, partially because i didn't have to do them and partially because i was excited to see how much better we had become come spring season.

     Spring proved to be the most stressful yet rewarding season yet. Under my previous coach i had fooled myself into believing i was a good coxswain. Failed attempts at yelling in the winter and steering in the spring, taught me otherwise.Obviously i had gotten too comfortable. Among many bad experiences, were crashing a boat over a tree (floating in the water), losing a skeg (something you need to steer), and failing to cox the girls boat. Often i felt like quitting and I'm glad that i didn't. My goal soon turned into not being yelled at at all by my coach. My motivation was, in the words of a great man "Winning". Our first race was a trial to see if we had  become any better over the winter; the first place medal proved that we had. As a novice four we went through the season with one third place and the rest firsts. The rowers never seemed complacent when we were on the water the other boats to our sides. They were driven to win each and every time and i was glad that it seemed to happen to me too.
          It felt good to come from crashing a boat into a tree to defeating the competition in a neck to neck race. Sadly in the last and largest regatta (race) of the year i was assigned to cox the JV-8. I had had bad luck with eights that season (losing a skeg, steering ect) and while i had gotten comfortable yelling at my boys during regattas, yelling at varsity as well didn't go so well. I hadn't studied the course as well as should have and muddled up my steering and yelling. The one high-point was that i learned that some of the varsity were very understanding. They certainly made up for my lack of motivational skills and probably would have qualified for semi-final if i had practiced more. We were only 8 boats away and 30 seconds or less away from the best time. While i was sad and dissapointed for a while, i eventually accepted it.From there one i could only try harder to improve and eventually become comfortable with all boats ( but i think we're focusing on fours next year ^^).
         I sat against a tree watching the old and new varsity boys play a game where one tackled the person with the ball (unlike football the only object of the game is to tackle and harm people until the fall or drop the ball). I was glad to see the varsity go because i knew i would be more comfortable with the remaining boys, but i was also sad they were taking away with them hilarious aspects of crew. I could only hope that if they ever came back they would see me improved, moving the boat in straight line.
 Joining crew has been the most stressful yet highly comedic and fulfilling decision i have made. And while i may only have one year of it left (I'm moving to Ghana junior year and hopefully not staying senior)I'm glad i did and I'm excited to see what happens next year.

Winning & The message of Pippin

    ( On a different note from the rest of this post)Recently i have been very occupied with crew(i cox novice boys) and we have so far attended 3 regattas (crew races) and won at least one race in each of them. Basically, except for the novice 8 (which had 3 varsity in it) the novice team has gone undefeated so far this season. I, never having played in active role on a winning team, am very proud of these new found bragging rights (sadly using them would be "inappropriate"). Winning can become very addictive.
  
                                  __________________________________________
        Pippin, a comedic yet meaningful musical, is all about Pippin's , the heir to his father's throne, search for fulfillment in life. From going to war to dabbling in arts, Pippin plays many roles unable to find fulfillment in any of them until he lets go of the idea of having to be extraordinary and accepts that to truly be free he must be tied down. While Pippins story ends,Theo, the son of the woman Pippin Marries, begins his story by singing the same song Pippin sings about finding his "corner of the sky".
   Many say it represents,essentially,  growing up. Starting with the young mind's idea of finding that one perfect thing to do in life, racing towards the destination before realizing it may be journey that is the most enjoyable, struggling with what to do, and eventually realizing he can find fulfillment and his "corner of the sky" by leading an ordinary life and marrying someone he loves.

     Throughout the musical there are "players" who seem to have his life planned like a play of sorts. He contradicts what is supposed to happen as the show goes on. In the players plan Pippin is supposed to take part in the "Finale", which involves stepping into a large flame. The "Finale" most likely represents the self-destruction that would result from the "Players" determination for him to do something grand with his life even if that meant ending it. They have been referred to as the part of everybody that always longs from something grandiose , but impossible to achieve(making one feel unfulfilled). However, if this is so, it is a part of oneself that may choose not to see reality clearly, believing it may actually achieve magic, because the "Players" all seem to expect that Pippin will be unable to devote himself to something so as to feel fulfilled and that he will inevitably choose the "Finale", perhaps not even realizing the consequences said "Finale" could bring. The "Players" also make it very clear that the life Pippin leads until the ending is a search for a fantasy life because the "Players" are all people committing to pretend-lives.
                                
      Maybe, part of what the  musical is trying to convey is that there is a fine line between seeing within the bounds of reality and accepting them and seeing an unrealistic world and committing to it. Not to say that it is bad to dream and that one should refrain themselves from longing for something better (as that is part of our nature), but that it is unideal to devote oneself to pursuit of something unreal, bypassing many things reality could offer while searching for it. In the end, Pippin chooses reality, when the Leading Player leaves, taking the ensemble, lights, costumes, and instruments with him because of Pippin's refusal to partake in the "Finale", signaling his acceptance "that not every day can be a perfect day" . The message becomes more universal when Theo begins to long for an extraordinary life as well, symbolizing the common trials of reality vs. fantasy that we all must face in order to grow up and if played well find fulfillment and perhaps success.

    The message does seem to say to accept reality ,but to me it also says to enjoy the ride and dont force yourself to grow up too fast either. Stephen Schwartz did say "I don't really like to tell people the "moral" of any of my shows; I think
each member of the audience should take from a show what he or she will. That being said, I think it's clear that Pippin talks about having to find a balance in one's life between idealism and ambition and finding a life one can commit to, even if it doesn't satisfy every longing or goal. One doesn't want to just settle for something and give up one's dreams and aspirations, but on the other hand, one doesn't want to chase something that is always endlessly just out of reach and wind up nowhere and with nothing. It's a choice each of us (in a relatively free, class‐less society anyway) has to deal with (or run away from) and find a way to reconcile."
While, eventually I will have to make the choice, why make it now?Pippin didn't just find happiness and settle It took him time and many paths to get to that part. I wouldn't say he found his fulfillment because that would imply that there was nothing left but there is still places to go from where he is.He has just reached a marking stone in the path signaling the end of youth and the start of adulthood.By giving himself away he became himself and that's great, but if he had done this instantaneously the play would of sucked and he would of missed out on a great part of life.Plus, how could he have truly made that choice by his own judgment and not because of the influence of others without knowing why he was making it. He had to make the choice willingly to end up as content as he did. Maybe, some of you guys are at that point and maybe others of you are just beginning to wish for all the magic, Me, I don't know and to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't have it any other way.