Crew

   I don't know what i was thinking when i decided to join crew. It was a rash decision made after weeks of convincing myself that it would not be worth my time. The fact that i couldn't even control myself should of been a warning in its self along with my soon to be coach's introduction"Hi, I'm ******, usually I'm known as a hard-a**". It was a decision akin to turning or veering off a carefully marked trail, only to find something unexpected, wonderful but daunting.

    In the beginning of the fall, I, deciding that strenuous painful workouts everyday did not sound like fun, decided to become a coxswain. As a coxswain i was to "motivate" the rowers by yelling at them and steering the straightest, shortest course possible. We moved awkwardly the rowers, trying to get a grip on technique as the boat wobbled from side to side and me, trying not to maneuver the shell in pirouettes.I really didn't and still don't yell as much as i should of during practice (i was awarded sulent but deadly at our awards) but back then I felt pretty good, it seemed as if i was doing well as a coxswain, but sometimes i would wonder why i was doing this, it seemed so weird and pointless and i loved it. Often, i would find myself distracted, staring at the surrounding scenery, the occasional dead creature floating by, the murky green-brown water, the inexplicable bubbles and the array of objects coursing through the water where they had been carelessly tossed.
         When the time came for our first row as novice rowers, The Head of the Occuquan (probably misspelled), everyone was nervous and excited. It was then that i realized how motivated the rowers were. They may not have believed that we would win, but they were going to work to walk through at least one boat. It seemed to me they were motivated to win than i was.
     We were 5 minutes late to the starting line, failed to walk through any boats, and were walked on by several boats. At the time i hadn't figure to how to use my cox box so i made up stroke ratings and had them "adjust" to new ones. I didn't speak much except when we almost crashed a couple times. The river was beautiful (and distracting to my ADHD prone brain), stone cliffs towered around us flanked by balding trees. It was the first of many times that i would realize that all the rivers i raced on were better than the ones i practiced on. In the end, we got second to last, but it still seemed to be an accomplishment (especially when we were told it wasn't a novice race, something we had realized when we saw the young and old men in the boats). We resigned ourselves to this small victory and packed up the boats for the winter.

    The winter was the time where rowers honed their skills, gained strength and endurance, worked on technique and most notably, faced a new form of surprisingly legal torture, the erg (a machine for rowing on land). While the rowers where on the erg my job was to find ways to motivate them by yelling at them, something i honestly failed at. Yelling at people twice as large and strong as i was seemed like a horrible idea, plus what do you say, row harder you're almost done? My first and second coach left us during the winter, both stolen by the government. Then we were given Coach Sara who had coached the novice girls the year before and had been a coxswain in college. The workouts grew harder, but that was okay, partially because i didn't have to do them and partially because i was excited to see how much better we had become come spring season.

     Spring proved to be the most stressful yet rewarding season yet. Under my previous coach i had fooled myself into believing i was a good coxswain. Failed attempts at yelling in the winter and steering in the spring, taught me otherwise.Obviously i had gotten too comfortable. Among many bad experiences, were crashing a boat over a tree (floating in the water), losing a skeg (something you need to steer), and failing to cox the girls boat. Often i felt like quitting and I'm glad that i didn't. My goal soon turned into not being yelled at at all by my coach. My motivation was, in the words of a great man "Winning". Our first race was a trial to see if we had  become any better over the winter; the first place medal proved that we had. As a novice four we went through the season with one third place and the rest firsts. The rowers never seemed complacent when we were on the water the other boats to our sides. They were driven to win each and every time and i was glad that it seemed to happen to me too.
          It felt good to come from crashing a boat into a tree to defeating the competition in a neck to neck race. Sadly in the last and largest regatta (race) of the year i was assigned to cox the JV-8. I had had bad luck with eights that season (losing a skeg, steering ect) and while i had gotten comfortable yelling at my boys during regattas, yelling at varsity as well didn't go so well. I hadn't studied the course as well as should have and muddled up my steering and yelling. The one high-point was that i learned that some of the varsity were very understanding. They certainly made up for my lack of motivational skills and probably would have qualified for semi-final if i had practiced more. We were only 8 boats away and 30 seconds or less away from the best time. While i was sad and dissapointed for a while, i eventually accepted it.From there one i could only try harder to improve and eventually become comfortable with all boats ( but i think we're focusing on fours next year ^^).
         I sat against a tree watching the old and new varsity boys play a game where one tackled the person with the ball (unlike football the only object of the game is to tackle and harm people until the fall or drop the ball). I was glad to see the varsity go because i knew i would be more comfortable with the remaining boys, but i was also sad they were taking away with them hilarious aspects of crew. I could only hope that if they ever came back they would see me improved, moving the boat in straight line.
 Joining crew has been the most stressful yet highly comedic and fulfilling decision i have made. And while i may only have one year of it left (I'm moving to Ghana junior year and hopefully not staying senior)I'm glad i did and I'm excited to see what happens next year.